My older sister always told me that the only person I could ever count on is myself. I didn't follow all the other advice she gave me.....but this statement always stuck with me. I always hear her saying it in my head.
I hear her right now, in the midst of my loneliness. It's funny though because my sister always wants to help me and despite our relationship rift she still does.
When my inner voice was telling me I was alone and have no one....my sister's voice was reminding me that I have myself. This is what got me up from the slight slump I fell into tonight.
It has been really lonely though especially when in the past year several of my relationship have changed, I'm not just talking about my relationship with my boyfriend....but the relationship I had with my sister, friend mel and my mom.
It is something I have done.
I have changed....and honestly I wish I could get back to the old me or at least part of the old me, but I don't know how.
Heartbreak has jaded me, motherhood has disciplined me, Lost has stripped away the bliss I use to radiate with ease. I don't know if I am a better person? I know I am better in certain ways: in responsibilities, will power, strength wise, patience, but what kind of person am I where my boyfriend, sister, and friend have all decided to step away from my life?!
If I carry on this way I truly will have ONLY Myself to ever count on.