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Colorful Joy Christmas Card

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Accept this moment as it is

I have been in denial for a long time, because it is scary to face the truth. Who wants to face rejection?! I have made countless reasons and created open possibilities that maybe one day.....it will be what I want.

But, I cannot live on that one string, that string of hope that maybe one day....
I have to live on the string I have. An unattached string with infinite possibilities:

1. work on business with Lindsay
2. get more money some how, better paying job?
3. read about starting my own business
4. give my son constant love, stability and discipline
5. practice a healthy lifestyle
6. save money
7. make money
8. meet new girlfriends
9. take care of my current friendships
10. take care of my home

Sade

Skin Sade Lyrics

When I found out this love's undone

I was like a gun, sure as it was over

Felt like nothing good could come



Sure as it's gonna play and play

Like Michael back in the day


I'm gonna peel you away



Now as I begin to wash you off my skin

I'm gonna peel you away

'Cause you're not right within



I love you so

Sometimes love has to let go


So this time don't think it's a lie

I say goodbye



Now as I begin to wash you off my skin

I'm gonna peel you away

http://www.elyricsworld.com/skin_sade_lyrics_sade.html
'Cause you're not right within



Now it's time to wash you off my skin


Now as I begin, it couldn't be right

'Cause you're not right within



I say goodbye

Acceptance

I focus on things I have lost......But I forget ALL the things I have.

Me, Myself, and I - The Ego

My older sister always told me that the only person I could ever count on is myself. I didn't follow all the other advice she gave me.....but this statement always stuck with me. I always hear her saying it in my head.

I hear her right now, in the midst of my loneliness. It's funny though because my sister always wants to help me and despite our relationship rift she still does.

When my inner voice was telling me I was alone and have no one....my sister's voice was reminding me that I have myself. This is what got me up from the slight slump I fell into tonight.

It has been really lonely though especially when in the past year several of my relationship have changed, I'm not just talking about my relationship with my boyfriend....but the relationship I had with my sister, friend mel and my mom.

It is something I have done.

I have changed....and honestly I wish I could get back to the old me or at least part of the old me, but I don't know how.

Heartbreak has jaded me, motherhood has disciplined me, Lost has stripped away the bliss I use to radiate with ease. I don't know if I am a better person? I know I am better in certain ways: in responsibilities, will power, strength wise, patience, but what kind of person am I where my boyfriend, sister, and friend have all decided to step away from my life?!

If I carry on this way I truly will have ONLY Myself to ever count on.

i LOVE sex and the city

Miranda: What's the big deal? In 50 years men are gonna be obsolete anyway. I mean, already you can't talk to them, you don't need them to have kids with, you don't need them to have sex with anymore, as I've very pleasantly discovered.

Dream 2

I remember Clay, Evony and Will in my dream and Will being very distant.