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Saturday, August 27, 2011

Sade

Skin Sade Lyrics

When I found out this love's undone

I was like a gun, sure as it was over

Felt like nothing good could come



Sure as it's gonna play and play

Like Michael back in the day


I'm gonna peel you away



Now as I begin to wash you off my skin

I'm gonna peel you away

'Cause you're not right within



I love you so

Sometimes love has to let go


So this time don't think it's a lie

I say goodbye



Now as I begin to wash you off my skin

I'm gonna peel you away

http://www.elyricsworld.com/skin_sade_lyrics_sade.html
'Cause you're not right within



Now it's time to wash you off my skin


Now as I begin, it couldn't be right

'Cause you're not right within



I say goodbye

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Me, Myself, and I - The Ego

My older sister always told me that the only person I could ever count on is myself. I didn't follow all the other advice she gave me.....but this statement always stuck with me. I always hear her saying it in my head.

I hear her right now, in the midst of my loneliness. It's funny though because my sister always wants to help me and despite our relationship rift she still does.

When my inner voice was telling me I was alone and have no one....my sister's voice was reminding me that I have myself. This is what got me up from the slight slump I fell into tonight.

It has been really lonely though especially when in the past year several of my relationship have changed, I'm not just talking about my relationship with my boyfriend....but the relationship I had with my sister, friend mel and my mom.

It is something I have done.

I have changed....and honestly I wish I could get back to the old me or at least part of the old me, but I don't know how.

Heartbreak has jaded me, motherhood has disciplined me, Lost has stripped away the bliss I use to radiate with ease. I don't know if I am a better person? I know I am better in certain ways: in responsibilities, will power, strength wise, patience, but what kind of person am I where my boyfriend, sister, and friend have all decided to step away from my life?!

If I carry on this way I truly will have ONLY Myself to ever count on.

Monday, August 22, 2011

i LOVE sex and the city

Miranda: What's the big deal? In 50 years men are gonna be obsolete anyway. I mean, already you can't talk to them, you don't need them to have kids with, you don't need them to have sex with anymore, as I've very pleasantly discovered.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Dream 2

I remember Clay, Evony and Will in my dream and Will being very distant.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Dream 1

I could not sleep very well last night. Little noises kept waking me and my mind was running. I remember a short dream where I was with my girlfriends out to dinner, then I had to go to the car. My friend Lindsay accompanied me to the car and we were in the parking lot and she called her BF and son who were at home.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Love: enriching, flexible, and strong

...That is my definition of Love. "Love" for me has evolved so much from the time I was 17 years old when I first "fell" in love to Today. Today, I feel it is more a state of being than more of a feeling. Feelings/emotions are fleeting and a state of being is more of a practice or a habit....which I have learned to practice more of. Pain and hurt have pushed me to be more loving and patient and to understand what I want LOVE to be....in my life and how I would like to practice love with others.

Love: enriching, flexible, and strong

...That is my definition of Love. "Love" for me has evolved so much from the time I was 17 years old when I first "fell" in love to Today. Today, I feel it is more a state of being than more of a feeling. Feelings/emotions are fleeting and a state of being is more of a practice or a habit....which I have learned to practice more of. Pain and hurt have pushed me to be more loving and patient and to understand what I want LOVE to be....in my life and how I would like to practice love with others.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

The Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire

I am RE- reading this book, titled above, by Deepak Chopra. It explores coincidences and what the author calls synchrodestiny. It is interesting because it explores scientifically proven experiments and ties it together with the synchrodestiny theory. Do you believe coincidences are Random acts in Life? or are they Meaningful insights into life?

Monday, August 15, 2011

keeping busy

I rode my bike to work today! I was so proud of myself for getting up early enough to do it. I have been putting it off due to how delicious it feels in bed sooooo early in the morning.....but the night before I set my mind to getting up early and I did!

It was a good ride, I got to work early and felt so energized. So, not only am I benefiting myself, but I'm being green as well : ) Plus, I get a good work out in and save gas money!!

Here's my little bike


I run solo about 3 days a week, when Will is with his father, this is my circumstance that I have to accept as sucky as it is. To stay busy and keep my mind off missing my little guy I recently started a Salsa class last week. My first class was really fun, I'll tell you more about the second class when it happens tomorrow!



Sunday, August 14, 2011

Sunday Adventure

We woke early today to check out the Antique Fair. There was a lot of cool things and I almost splurged on 2 lamps that I have been wanting, but didn't. Good Job for me on self control : )
I was starving after an hour at the fair and so I went back home cooked breakfast and headed to a soccer game. After, I took Will to our favorite Park (well it's my new favorite park) and our Sunday Adventure begins.....

First feed the ducks...

Then Chase the ducks....

Then, Finally the playground and LOT's of running around...

And after I methodically and peacefully pull him away from the park and into my car...the chaos begins in trying to lock him down into the car seat (no picture of that scene) and then Finally home for some painting....


and gardening

Then Melt Down.......The End.







Saturday

We had quite a long day today. A lot of walking because of my stupidity, but it turned out ok. The baby didn't have to walk. We went to the 2nd Annual Banana Festival! After a couple hours at the festival we began our long trek back to the car. We walked though William Land park and stopped at the playground next to the wading pool to rest, rather for ME to rest. Will had a blast and I loved the idea of the pool, it only goes up to 6 inches and the area is small. There were a good amount of kids that Will enjoyed the play time. He is so Social.


Monday, August 8, 2011

Dreams do Come True......at least in my head!

I hope I win the lottery tomorrow! The first thing I would do is put in my 2 weeks notice at work, then I would go visit my parents with my son. I would vacation in the Philippines for awhile and plan out how I would share my winnings.

When I return I would send the people I decided to share my money with, a check. I would enjoy my days at my rental home with my son.....until I found a home I wanted to purchase. I would get a dog too!

I would fix my car window and buy myself either an Audi A7, Lexus RX, Porsche 911 Carrera or heck all 3. Then, as I look for the perfect home for my son, dog and I, I would start my re-furbishing idea as my hobby.

Eventually, as I savor my moments of financial security and have a little fun with lavish spending I would like to open my own furniture store with furniture I Re-do and a dessert/cupcake/cafe!

Wish me luck!

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Good Things ONLY

I am thankful for my son
I am thankful for my health
I am thankful for Lindsay and her supportive, comforting, calming ways
I am thankful for Sharon who makes work amusing and fun and for her advice and ear
I am thankful for my home
I am thankful for my car
I am thankful for my sister