Me and my thoughts

As I was lying in bed putting Will to sleep I started to think about a friend of mine who just had a baby girl. She and her boyfriend, who is also the father of her daughter, broke up. The baby is only 2 months old. I started wondering how she was feeling, I started thinking about how I felt.

When you're child-less and single, it is pretty great. Sure, there are those moments of loneliness and the need for affection, but over-all being single in your mid to late twenties was fabulous, at least from what I remember. But, when you're single and have a child, it sometimes feels lonelier and sometimes the need for affection is greater.

I am new to all this and I have read other single mama's blogs who beg to differ on the cons of being a single mom.....most toot the horn on the greatness of it, which makes absolute sense, but since I am a new single mama I am still going through the process of completely and contently accepting it. I understand all the great things about it, but I also understand the great things about having a partner.

Part of the difficulty with it is that I grew up in a traditional family. Traditional family meaning a mom and dad. I wanted that for my child too. I loved my childhood so it's only normal to want it for my little guy as well.

My life, however has taken on a different path and I have to really practice on controlling my Shenpa so that I don't develop resentment, sadness and un-acceptance due to my circumstance. I find peace in knowing that there are great things in my circumstance, like baby Will of course! and that I am taking care of myself and my son and that is an empowering feeling.

US