spring cleaning

It's spring cleaning day according to my friends LaLa and Bee. So, while the two little boys were napping I took the opportunity to do a little theraputic make-up of myself and after hand scrubbed about 10 underwears my son peed on and hung them to dry in the bathroom. 3 year old under wear filled bathroom, check. Then, I moved on to my bedroom. I poured out the contents of my dresser and threw into a garbage bag clothes that maybe at 30 years old I should get rid of, and I did. I did however hold on to a dress I have had for 10 years that my ex boyfriend picked out, why do we do that to ourselves, why do we hold on?! I don't know, but I knew I wasn't ready to let go of it yet. So, dresser drawers, check. By the time that was done I was finished with my glass of wine, I looked over at my wine holder and decided to crack open another bottle. It was a cabernet saivignon a bottle I picked up on a recent trip to Seattle. I poured myself a glass and decided to sit in front of this computer to type away my sorrows of how turning 30 leads me to Saturdays of Spring Cleaning....but what I really need to do is change the pee pee sheets that I have been sleeping in for like 3 weeks. I know gross, but I was lazy. So, here I am drinking a glass of wine by myself in my diningroom and honestly the peace and quiet is quite nice and depressing at the same time....I heard a wimper from my three year old in the other room and I feel like a bad mom wishing in my head "please go back to sleep". I have 30 minutes left to savor some alone time before we head to a friends house for dinner, so while the little boys are sleeping I will sip on my glass of vino and finish my spring cleaning, changing the 3 week old pee pee sheets.

my blog

My blog, I miss it. Writing is my outlet, I have not done it in here in a long time....because every time I typed something everything seemed inadequate. However, as a subsitute for a blog I had my handy dandy little note book to write down my random thoughts in which only I could see. I am writing in here today because as I was pondering what the hell am I going to do with my life....I could only think of writing as my most desired and passionate activity. I scrolled down a college catalog with all the degrees and certificates the school offered hoping that a subject would jump out at me....or rather pick me....and there! that would be the direction I would go in! That would be my calling. My eyes danced around the idea of Physical or Occupational assistant. I am just feeling the need to choose a concrete path right now, something solid & consistent. I've been living spontaneously and with uncertainty for awhile and my 30 year old self is pressuring me to finally start living with intention & boldness and most of all passion....so here I am writing.