I wanted to have my family together.....my two boys with me.....my son and boyfriend. But, it didn't happen because my boyfriend decided to leave, me, us for the fourth time.....Again! I sit in our home that he picked out missing him, getting angry at him and sometimes sobbing uncontrollably. This home was supposed to be for the three of us, but he gave up, abandoned us and I hate him for that. Will I ever completely forgive him? I don't know?! All I know is my heart is sooo broken, sooo hurt.
stolen from another single mama blog:
He had made a terrible decision to give up on our lives together, the life that i know is worth the effort. I blame him for allowing his emotions to get the best of him. And what he may not understand yet is that life does not deliver you love wrapped up in a nice neat package. Love isn't a state of being, it changes and it is sometimes situational at best - but it is marked by commitment and choice. It is a decision that may have to be made again and again, even with the same person.
*wow* your wordz were ma thoughts some time ago...going on a year now. Ma ex had did the same, just up & left. No "dear john" or even a self explanation...even to this day, I STILL have NO IDEA why we got divorced and I have BEEN stopped wondering why. It hurt, trust me, IT HURT LIKE HELL to have the person you loved...and took vowz to be there forever to up and leave...abandon! because thats EXACTLY what he did. Left me and ma 2 kidz...HIS daughter included, stuck in a place we got together with unpaid bills and rent due! I was so bothered and hurted not only for ma self but for ma kidz. Its one thing to take it out on me but NOT ma kidz! I hated him, then it changed to just not liking him and so forth but after AWHILE, it took me some time & MUCH NEEDED faith to let go of those emotions and let God take over. The sooner I let go of it the better I begin to feel about ma self and everything else. Now I don't even let him get to me like he use to. I let God fight ma battles and it has made me a BETTER Woman of God for it! *smile*
ReplyDeleteEnjoyed reading your post..I'm Edlicia by the way! Enjoy the rest of this Lovely Tuesday! *smile*